{"id":19211,"date":"2025-03-31T09:27:00","date_gmt":"2025-03-31T13:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/christoverall.com\/?p=19211"},"modified":"2025-06-27T16:55:08","modified_gmt":"2025-06-27T20:55:08","slug":"encore-understanding-guilt-repentance-and-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/christoverall.com\/article\/concise\/encore-understanding-guilt-repentance-and-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"Encore: Understanding Guilt, Repentance, and Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In any helping field, accurate treatment requires accurate diagnosis, and accurate diagnosis requires knowing what to look for and why. Physicians know what tests to order for their patients because they understand how the body malfunctions and deteriorates. Similarly, counselors must understand the nature and origin of human problems if they are to know what questions to ask, what answers to listen for, and what remedies to apply. This issue lies at the foundation of every question a counselor must answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Competing theories abound. Some root counseling disorders in a person\u2019s nature\u2014their inborn biological factors\u2014while others see a person\u2019s nurture\u2014their social environment\u2014as the cause. Still others stress a complex combination of both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Biblical counselors provide a more profound explanation. People are created in God\u2019s image and inescapably related to him, and yet sin has profoundly corrupted our natures. While both biological and social factors can influence human behavior, assigning causation to nature and\/or nurture excludes this essential, deeper, Godward factor\u2014the soul in relationship to God. We must never look at people apart from their connection to God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ultimate problem all counseling addresses is sin and the curse and consequences resulting from them, even if the counselee doesn\u2019t acknowledge God\u2019s diagnosis or accept biblical terminology. This does not mean every counseling problem results from an individual\u2019s wrong choices. The person might be suffering from the sins of others, the consequences of Adam\u2019s sin, or a mixture of all the above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this chapter we want to prepare counselors to help people understand their guilt, repent, and receive God\u2019s forgiveness in Christ. Biblical counseling calls people to change, and true and lasting change requires repentance and living in light of God\u2019s forgiveness. Biblical counselors delight in helping counselees resolve their guilt and enjoy the freedom that comes from a restored relationship with the Lord. God the Father, after all, wants to hear a counselee\u2019s confession and forgive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helping Counselees Understand Guilt <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Based on the biblical distinctions we saw between intentional and unintentional sin and between clear and confused guilt in chapter 6, let\u2019s consider four scenarios, each involving a recently married Christian woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scenario 1: <\/em>Angela knew believers should marry only believers (1 Cor 7:39; 2 Cor 6:14). She married a Christian man. She was neither guilty of sin nor feeling guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scenario 2: <\/em>Beth also knew the Bible\u2019s teaching but despite the objections of her Christian friends, she married a non-Christian man. She was guilty of intentional sin and felt guilty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scenario 3: <\/em>Crystal also married a non-Christian man, but she was unaware of the Bible\u2019s prohibition against it. Though guilty of violating God\u2019s commands, she felt no guilt, nor would we expect her to. Her sin was unintentional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both Beth\u2019s willful sin and Crystal\u2019s unintentional sin incurred true, objective guilt before God. Any thought, word, action, or desire that violates God\u2019s law, intentionally or not, is sinful. Yet the women\u2019s experiences differed in terms of guilt feelings. Guilt feelings are a function of the conscience. A healthy conscience is biblically instructed; it aligns with God\u2019s Word. Beth\u2019s conscience functioned properly. We rightly feel guilty when we violate Scripture. In this sense, guilt feelings are friends. They alert us to inspect ways we might have sinned. Sin is bad, but guilt\u2014if dealt with properly\u2014is good. Crystal\u2019s conscience was not biblically trained; therefore, unfortunately, she felt no guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, let\u2019s consider scenario 4. <\/em>Like Angela, Danika married a Christian man, in keeping with God\u2019s standards. Yet, unlike Angela, she felt guilty about her decision. Why? Because she believed she had sinned. How so?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Danika came from a wealthy home with successful, career-driven parents who insisted she marry a professional. Instead, she dated a godly man with a low-paying job and little prospect of upward mobility. She married him but believed deep down she had done something wrong by not obeying her parents. When she violated her conscience\u2014her weak, biblically ill-informed conscience\u2014she (properly) felt guilty. We not only will <\/em>feel guilty when we violate pseudo-laws, we should <\/em>feel guilty. Change will require Danika placing herself under God\u2019s law, not her own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Four Scenarios of Objective Guilt and Subjective Guilt Feelings <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
 <\/td>\n

Guilty Before God? <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Guilt Feelings? <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Remedy? <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td><\/tr>

\n

1<\/strong><\/p>\n

Angela<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

No. She obeyed God\u2019s command.<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

No, nor should she<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

None needed<\/p>\n<\/td><\/tr>

\n

2<\/strong><\/p>\n

Beth<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Yes. She intentionally sinned.<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Yes, and she should<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Repentance and renewed faith in Christ<\/p>\n<\/td><\/tr>

\n

3<\/strong><\/p>\n

Crystal<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Yes. She unintentionally sinned.<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

No, her conscience was ignorant.<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Conviction of sin, then repentance and renewed faith in Christ<\/p>\n<\/td><\/tr>

\n

4 <\/strong>
Danika<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Yes. She placed herself under an unbiblical law and did what she thought was wrong, violating her conscience.<\/p>\n<\/td>

\n

Yes, but a confused form of guilt<\/p>\n<\/td>

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Biblical instruction, then conviction of sin, repentance, and renewed faith in Christ.<\/p>\n<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In addressing this situation, some secular (nonbiblical) counselors or well-meaning friends might call Danika\u2019s guilt \u201cfalse guilt\u201d and plead, \u201cDanika, stop feeling guilty. You did nothing wrong. That\u2019s false guilt you\u2019re feeling.\u201d After all, unlike Beth and Crystal, Danika did not disobey a clear command: the Bible does not require a twenty-four-year-old to obey her parents. But calling this \u201cfalse guilt\u201d can convey to Danika we are minimizing her feelings, denying her internal struggles, or issuing a moralistic \u201cstop it, grow up, that\u2019s stupid\u201d message. Guilt feelings can\u2019t be switched off or willed away. We must not dismiss her emotions, however confused they are. Moreover, labeling it \u201cfalse guilt\u201d misses the element of objective guilt that’s present. Danika did indeed do something wrong\u2014she wrongly placed herself under a law that wasn\u2019t God\u2019s law, then violated her conscience and felt guilty. Loving Danika means helping her understand and liberating her from her confused guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beth, Crystal, and Danika each need biblical counsel to deal with their actions before God and their consciences\u2019 interpretations and responses. The counseling task involves helping them sort out any confused guilt, feel appropriate guilt, confess and repent of actual sin, and receive God\u2019s forgiveness in Christ. Thankfully, whether their guilt and guilt feelings are intentional or unintentional, or clear or confused, this one answer gloriously soars before these struggling brides: the cross of Jesus Christ, the Savior who \u201cis faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness\u201d (1 Jn. 1:9).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how should we lead our counselees into true repentance and the joyful, liberating reality of forgiveness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helping Counselees Repent <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Mindful of the discussed distinctions, we should help counselees see and own whatever sin is present. We do so in two ways. First, we help them see their sin in light of God\u2019s Word as it\u2019s rightly interpreted and applied. Paul tells Timothy that God\u2019s inspired Word \u201cis profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness\u201d (2 Tim. 3:16). We measure ourselves by the Bible as our standard. Hebrews 4:12\u201313 describes God\u2019s Word as a sword that cuts into the core of our souls and exposes the depths of our sin. James likens the Bible to a mirror by which we can truly see what we really are (Jas. 1:22\u201325).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, given the Bible as our standard, sword, and mirror, we encourage people to ask God to search them for any sin, including hidden sin. Consider Ps 139:23\u201324 as a model prayer: \u201cSearch me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.\u201d Our goals should reflect Paul\u2019s heart: \u201cI always strive to have a clear conscience toward God and men\u201d (Acts 24:16), and Paul\u2019s gospel-driven exhortation: \u201cSo then, dear friends, since we have these promises, let us cleanse ourselves from every impurity of the<\/p>\n\n\n\n

flesh and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God\u201d (2 Cor 7:1). As we saw in chapter 4, change occurs as God\u2019s Spirit convicts us of sin and leads us toward godliness in light of Christ\u2019s work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we lead people to see their sin, we should lead them to repentance. Consider weaving these eight vital marks of true repentance into your counseling as appropriate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Realize You Have Sinned Primarily against God, and against His Law and Grace <\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

After Adam and Eve sinned, they covered themselves with fig leaves and \u201chid from the Lord God among the trees\u201d (Gen. 3:6\u20138). In other words, they sought their own way to deal with their internal shame and avoided God. Thankfully, God pursued them and showed grace, promising a Redeemer and covering their sin (Gen. 3:9\u201321).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Scripture we find moving examples of God-centered repentance. In his confessions David was explicitly conscious of God:<\/p>\n\n\n\n